Moving for Love - Questions to Ask and Answer Before Taking This Step

Moving for Love – Questions to Ask and Answer Before Taking This Step

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There’s nothing quite as exciting as moving for love. If you’ve done it before, you understand the stakes, but if you’re doing it for the first time, you’ll have to go through a trial and error period like many of us do. Ask yourself some vital questions before making the move, and ensure you have the answers to all of them.

Moving for Love Is Actually Harder Than It Seems, But Don’t Worry – It’s Not Impossible

We don’t mean to scare you when we say that relocating to be with your significant other is difficult, but the decision to do it carries a lot of weight. It’s a change that some might think they’re up for and then end up feeling stressed out or things start going wrong. It’s not something you or your loved one want, so it’s best to consider the important factors.

In today’s culture, everyone does their best to work hard and achieve a lot, so it’s normal to be wondering, “Is it okay to move for love” when you’re trying your best to start a lucrative career. However, relocating to a big city or anywhere with a significant other could be as beneficial for your career as hard work is; you’d have the love and support of someone you care about a lot, and that’s very significant.

Can You Reach Compromises With Your Partner Easily?

If you want to live together with your partner and they wish to move to the suburbs, would you do it? In a different example, if you start packing and there are things you want to keep when relocating, would your significant other be okay with them? Reaching compromises where both of you could get something good out of a situation is a skill that gets honed over time.

If you still haven’t had the chance to meet your partner halfway, consider what it would take to do it and if it’s even possible for you. If you don’t feel like compromising some parts of your life, you might encounter resistance from your other half and even arguments along the way. However, if both of you feel secure enough to give up some parts of your life so your bond could flourish, living together will likely be a piece of cake.

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Are You Overlooking Red Flags In Hope They’ll Go Away?

You know that feeling in your stomach, like a knot that doesn’t seem to go away whenever something’s off? If you start feeling it whenever your significant other starts mentioning living together, then maybe you should delay hiring cross-country movers for now. Deep down, there’s a reason why you don’t feel comfortable with sharing a space or taking that big step, and that’s completely fine.

If you have a partner who keeps nagging you about living together when you don’t want to do it, it’s best to talk to them openly and carefully get their thoughts on why the move is so important to them. If your loved one nags you and makes you feel uncomfortable in any other way or on a larger scale, those are red flags that won’t just go away. It’s best to have a heart-to-heart with them before preparing for a move.

#1 Are You Both in a Good Place Financially?

One of the most frequent relocation mistakes with a significant other is avoiding the money talk. While you may be fully compliant with the requirements for renting an apartment, will you be able to pull through the first few months of rent and utility costs? Don’t forget that honesty is the best policy, so if you can’t afford to live together, don’t put yourself in that situation just yet. Additionally, not many landlords will agree to rent out to people who don’t have a job, so you wouldn’t be able to just plunge in without having a safety net first.

If you want to live together, but money is tight at the moment, why not look for a new city or neighborhood to move to? Or, if that’s out of the question, too, you can start a move-in fund by opening a savings account that both of you will occasionally top up with extra money until you have enough for relocating somewhere you both find perfectly suitable. The move-in fund should be off-limits for spending before you agree on a home, too.

#2 Do You Feel Safe and Confident in Your Relationship?

It’s important to ask, “Is it worth moving for a relationship” when you don’t feel comfortable doing so. You might be relocating for the first time, and you don’t think that leaving your parents’ home to live with your current partner would be worth it. Perhaps the most crucial question of all is whether you see yourself with this person for a while because if you don’t, living together wouldn’t change much, and it’d just be a risk at that point.

If there’s any relocation tip we could offer in this situation, it’s not to move unless it’s what you truly want. Feeling safe in your relationship is a big part of having one that’s trusting and loving because love and trust go hand-in-hand with feeling safe and comfortable. You don’t have to grab the opportunity if you don’t think you’ll have these things when you move in.

Moving for Love in a Long-Distance Relationship Can Change the Ways You See Your Partner

Before you go and read all the long-distance relationship statistics to see if yours is going to last, try to have a chat with your loved one. You may have to change your address when you move, but what if you just move closer to them before flipping the switch and sharing a house? There could be more benefits of relocating where your significant other lives and has a job first. Then, after seeing each other more often, you can decide if you want to live together.

Because you’ve been in a long-distance relationship (or LDR for short) the whole way, it’s important to ease in and not make any sudden decisions. It’s possible to be careful and in love at the same time. You can always listen to advice from people who moved in together after being in long-distance relationships, like the one in the video below. Your experience can be different, but hearing how somebody else broke the barrier will do lots of good.

#3 Can You Divide Chores and Responsibilities Equally?

If you’re on the same page for now and feel that being together in the same house is the best decision you can make, that’s awesome. In that case, neither last-minute relocating nor long-term planning will deter you from the decision.

However, if your boyfriend or girlfriend is known for being lazy or not having an admirable work ethic, you’ll wonder, “should I relocate with my boyfriend” on the first signs of getting serious. Since you’re not able to carry the entire load of chores and responsibilities around the house, you’ll soon end up feeling drained and like a maid for the person staying with you.

No matter how difficult their job is, they should take up some part of the cleaning and tidying up around the house so you could be equals in every way. Again, communication and agreements make relationships great, so ensure yours is, too, and express your displeasure whenever your significant other doesn’t pull their weight around the house.

#4 Is There a Middle Ground When It Comes to Your New Living Place?

Many LD relationships happen during college, so if you decide on relocating after college together and starting a new life, you’ll have to organize your move in a way that suits you both. While compromises are vital for bonding and becoming closer, they’re also important when choosing where to live. If your hometowns are too far from each other, it’s unlikely either of you will be prepared to travel so much.

It doesn’t only apply to college sweethearts; it can also be said for international couples. Relocating across the country to an unknown place can be challenging to adjust to, let alone crossing the globe to be with your loved one. Residing somewhere that suits you both should be the main thing on the list.

Don’t Go Through Life In a Home That Suits Only One of You

Moving cross-country to a place you picked together because it suits you both is the ideal scenario. If your significant other wishes to live in an apartment while you want to live in a house, how likely is it that you’ll give in and start creating a new apartment shopping list soon? It’s better to find someplace that suits both of you – a place with a park nearby, an office space, and a guest bedroom or two for the parents when they visit. Whatever you need can be squeezed in somehow.

Find a City Where You Both Could Thrive Personally and Career-Wise

It may feel like relocating for love is a massive step in the right direction, but will you manage after relocating to a small town or a big city? Your significant other will be there for you through thick and thin, but they can’t make friends in a new city on your behalf; you have to take the plunge and do it yourself.

If you’re used to being in nature and your boyfriend or girlfriend likes concrete jungles, instead of asking for an instant relocation, ask for a weekend away. Make arrangements until you’re both feeling comfortable enough to finally move to a place that fits your lifestyles together and individually.

#5 Are Your Values and Ideas of the Future the Same?

Finally, there’s no moving to another state for a relationship if you don’t see eye to eye about where the entire thing is going. People move in and out all the time, but many of them don’t always have the most straightforward reasons to move. To save yourself from the process of moving across the country and packing up all your belongings, talk to your significant other about the future and find out if you have the same vision.

Maybe your idea of the future is the same, but your values clash here and there. That’s a deal-breaker for some, while other people live perfectly well knowing they have a loved one who feels differently about some things in life. That’s normal, and many of those values can change over time, as long as it’s not a problem for you before starting a life with the person you have strong feelings for.

Once You’ve Reached an Agreement and Decided to Make the Move, Don’t Do It Alone

We’re sure that things are going well for you, and relocation is the thing that’s going to advance your bond to rock solid. However, with all the nerves and stress, you may not feel comfortable enough to move independently. So, to be efficient and save money on relocation costs, you can contact a cross-country movers group that can help you in the new chapter of your life.

A cross-country moving company will offer you a complete package of relocation services – from relocation insurance and packing options to even shipping your car and adding storage service into the mix. These parts of relocation are all covered by movers, but you alone should know what you want to pack and what will stay behind. You can also let movers know when you agree with your significant other about who will bring what into the home.

Make Sure You’re Confident In the Decision of Moving for a Relationship

While we can’t answer the question of how long should you be in a relationship before moving in, we can advise you not to pack quickly and rush when it comes to being with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sharing space is a matter of agreement, mutual respect, and overall, loving each other every day more than disagreeing. If you think the moment to move in with your loved one is correct, then that’s what you should be doing. No one’s ever spoken of adventures without mentioning the risks they posed. You can always go back to how you were if things don’t work out, but we’re confident they will.

Gemma Collins

Gemma is an NJ local that has explored all the US states, making her the perfect person to write about moving.

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