Have you ever wondered what the hardest part of moving for love is? One in four people have relocated in pursuit of a romantic relationship, and if you are one of them, ask yourself, Is it worth moving for love? Before you box up everything, consider all the pros and cons of relocation, be honest about what it will mean for your career, finances, and future. Don’t rush, and you won’t regret your decision.
Be Honest: Is It Worth Moving for Love?
Many people would say that loving someone is one of the best reasons to move, but before you start packing and saying goodbye to your friends and family, ask yourself – is it worth it? Making a list of pros and cons can help you see if you are making the right decision. You should be sure that this is the right next step in your life and relationship. For starters, ask yourself: what would your significant other do if the shoe was on the other foot?
Would Your Partner Relocate for You?
You probably talked about which person should relocate. Maybe your profession is more flexible, or you don’t mind being far away from family. However, unless both of you are willing to give up friends, jobs, and your established life to be together, one person should not make all the sacrifices. Remember, if either of you starts feeling like the relocation was not out of mutual affection, you will be filled with regret and even resentment.
Does It Feel Like You Are Giving up Too Much for a Relationship?
When one person in a relationship moves, compromises and sacrifices are expected. However, if the whole thing seems more like a sacrifice than the beginning of a new journey, maybe you should rethink your decision. Only a person sure of their decisions will avoid being bitter and can be truly happy starting a new life.
Have You Dealt With All the Deal Breakers in the Relationship?
When you are moving to a new city for a significant other, there are probably no big secrets between the two of you. However, if you haven’t lived together before, you should prepare for all those little annoying habits people have. Be honest with yourself – would messy closets or dirty dishes be something that would make you call it quits? Talk to your partner, share your concerns and fears; surely they have them as well. Through conversation, you will find a way to solve all problems you encounter along the way.
What Are a Woman’s and Man’s Points of View When It Comes to Deal Breakers?
If you think that your pet peeves and deal breakers are too rigid, compare them to other women’s and men’s points of view. According to the research published by independent academic publisher SAGE Publishing, top deal breakers in a long term relationship for men and women are:
- Lacking a sense of humor
- Unclean appearance
Are You and Your Partner Willing to Talk About Finances?
“Money talk” is never fun or romantic, but it has to be done because it is one of the most important parts of the relocation. Discuss and agree with your significant other on a financial plan as a couple. If you move in together, can they cover rent while you are looking for work? Also, are they in the financial situation to support both of you until you start earning some money? Either way, you should have enough money saved up for the relocation and not rely on your partner’s earnings alone.
Do You Have Enough Money for a Successful Relocation?
You will need money for a long-distance relocation. Whether for getting professional moving services and handling packing and car shipping or for a downpayment on an apartment and a ticket to the new city. The key to a successful relocation is knowing your finances and strategically planning every move. Also, if your partner is good with money, let them help you organize your finances.
Would You Share a Home or Live on Your Own?
Relocation is a big deal on its own. Add sharing a place with a significant other to the mix, and you get yourself a lot of change. That’s why you should think carefully about it. If you want to be close to them, but know you are not ready for a life together, look for your own apartment. That way, you will have both your independence and the loved one close by.
Have You Already Lived With a Partner?
If you have already lived with somebody, you have at least some experience in sharing the space with another human being who’s not a member of your family. Remember the things that went wrong last time and try to avoid them. Compromise and communicate: there is a learning curve no matter who you live with, so try to be as patient as possible, and there won’t be unresolvable problems.
Can You See Yourself Living in the New City You’re Moving To?
An unfamiliar environment can be scary. Be honest: can you truly see yourself living in the city you are going to? Do you like its overall vibe? Does it have what it takes to make you happy? Your life can’t revolve around your significant other, so if you can’t fit in, you’ll end up sad and unfulfilled. Learn about the location before the move, go over job and entertainment options, and imagine yourself living there.
Will Your Career Take a Back Seat When You Are Moving for Love?
If you are lucky, your company might have a job for you in that city, but if you have to start over from the beginning, it might feel that your career has taken a back seat. Are you willing to work your way up the career ladder once again? If the answer is yes, make sure you have a strong support system in your friends and family that will push you to keep going.
Do You Have a Strong Support System in Your Life?
Yes, you are relocating on your own, but that doesn’t mean you can’t lean on your friends and family whenever you feel overwhelmed and scared by the new city. Having somebody to talk to is good for your mental health. Keep in touch, and whenever you feel insecure, call them, even if just to tell them you’ve met some new people at work. A strong support system will help you overcome every obstacle.
Do You Have the Same Idea About the Future?
Relocation is a big step: it states that you are willing to leave a life behind just so you can be with a loved one. Also, it comes with the expectations of proposal, marriage, and kids. Before you even start packing, talk to your partner, ask them how they imagine your future together. If your ideas are too different, you have a problem on your hand that needs solving before you move.
Do You Have a Backup Plan in Case Things Don’t Work Out?
Relationships fail. It is a fact that nobody likes to think about. On top of that, you will be in a new environment, far away from your friends and family. That’s why you should have a plan just in case. If your relationship doesn’t work out, would you stay in the city or move back home? Having a backup strategy is smart, even if the time to use it never comes.
Even a Fairytale Ending Takes Work
American poet Maya Angelou once wrote “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Even though sometimes it feels like more trouble than it is worth, leap over obstacles and don’t give up until you reach the finish line. The award you get is a fulfilled life with someone you care about. Remember, even the fairytale ending takes work, so don’t give up while your story is at its beginning.